pondering thoughts

For the one who’s always in my thoughts 24/7… For the one who makes my heart beats so fast and slow at the same time…I know that it’s too cliché and down right corny to even say that but that’s what I feel…I’m just a hopeless romantic prick what can I do? You and I we don’t even know a single thing about each other, but what am I saying? Is there even a “you and I”? I’ve yet to know your name but I suppose you do mine… Silly glances and stolen stares throughout the day makes me wonder why are you looking at me like that whenever you pass me by or even from afar… is there something wrong with the way I look? Is there dirt on my eyes?! What? Tell me… Don’t you know that’s what I’m doing too? Just looking at you really makes my day… We kept on checking each other out, there’s no denying that… Just a glimpse, careful not to stare maybe you’ll noticed… but it does happen, I really like the times when our eyes meet and then hurriedly look away just to let each other know that “hey I’m not staring at you” but we both know that’s a lie… Day by day the same exciting happenstance, you gave me much inspiration to look forward for tomorrow… each day makes me anxious to see you, yes I long for you… Try as I may to look desirable and fix my unruly hair just so you’ll like what you see… But You and I, we’re too different… I’m too ordinary and plain for you to even like me as much as I like and want to know you… I often wonder if you’re already taken and have someone special in your life, but I don’t see why not… You’re just too damn beautiful, prompt, perfect, and desirable… Clearly I’m the opposite of that… What is this then? Just a physical attraction? An infatuation that soon will eventually fade? Love at first sight?! Maybe, I don’t know but I really want to find a way to know somehow… Countless “What if’s” keeps flooding my mind with thoughts of you and I… each night I reminisce and think of you… your face… your eyes… you! Always you! It makes me doubt, even just for a small portion of your time, do I cross your mind like you do mine? Do you think of us together? Will I ever know soon? Will you ever know what I feel? I guess time will only tell… but until then all I can do is steal glimpses of you… sad and pathetic as it may seem, that’s the only thing (for now) which I think is the thing to do…Constantly Hope to God that someday this wait will end and we’ll finally got that chance and break we need… I just wish that it won’t be too late nor awkward… though some may say go for it, make the move, risk it… I can’t… I’m too weak and hopeless to even display a heroic or a suicide act such as that… I’m neither one of those chick-magnet or head turners that will surely catch your attention nor the ones who’s oozing with appeal and charisma… I’m just me… fearful of what you might think and say when I break it you, and very mindful of the consequences of my actions, I choose to remain… Dreaming of you even in daylight hours is what I can do just to suffice this undying wanting and longing for you… thinking of us together at last and how we would start off… but it’s never enough… I want you for real, to be with you, to know you, to love you! I want hold your hands, kiss you so gently and hug you so dearly… Is that too much a big of a deal? Selfish? Yes it is for who am I to deserve an extra special person like you? It may seem that I’m belittling myself but I’m not, that’s the bottom line… But I really hope you feel the same way so that when the time comes it won’t be that hard for us to fall… And surely I’ll try my best to atone, compensate, and give my all for you only…     As friends is a good thing but that’s not what I need you to be… it’s like settling for 2^nd place rather than the prestigious and gratifying 1^st place… I badly want that 1^st place in your heart… Ahhh I’m so drunk of you! Heaven please help me, if we were to be I badly need a sign right now to be that wonder drug I’m looking, to calm my nerves and ease this tension I’m experiencing… I’m hopeless period.

Yup life has a funny way of sneaking up to you… It’s never unfair nor fair… it’s both nuetral and proactive… In life we encountered a whole bunch of trials, problems, and shit… but it’s there not to hold us down, to hinder us from ever seeing the true meaning and purpose of why we are here. It’s there to make us stronger… To make as act and think that there is more to life than those petty and useless stuff we are in to and eventually leads us to a realization on what is more valuable and important… Mind you it’s (life) meant to be shared… so whatever good or bad things make arise be in mind that you have people around you that can help solve it or worst, make it a lot more complex than it has ever been… blah blah blah to be continued my lunch break is almost over

Hhehehe Just found this site(http://www.blogthings.com/howsinfulareyouquiz/) while surfing this morning… There’s a lot of good "blog things" to try on this site so go ahead Anyway I tried it and drumroll please…. the results at your left! Am I really THAT LUSTFUL?! hahahaahah! Envy, SLoth and Wrath Tie in at 40% each heheheheh and Greed with just 20% Funny thing is there’s a 31% that I would go to the firey depths of hell when I’m six feet under hehehe see I’m still a good boi! so don’t be afraid of me okay? hehehehe

Anyway, I find it hard to write blogs at a time so probably (just probably) this will be my last blog entry for a long time… What’s that you say? You’ll Miss me?! Awww Gosh that’s sweet! (as if huh!) But don’t worry peeps (where?) you can still read and view my blogs, which I update quite so often and has lots of goodies and all at this url address: http://www.pbozproduction.com/pbozblogs.htm And just you’re wondering… yup I have my own domain name WEeeeeee! so drop a line if you can okay… And don’t be shy to comment on my blogs… cyah there! Good Day