pondering thoughts

My ear is stuck listening on P. Diddy’s song, Last Night. It features vocals from Keyshia Cole which I think single-handedly sells the song, well apart from Diddy’s celebrity status of course. I love the meaning and Keyshia’s part:

If I told you once, I told you twice, you can see it in my eyes. I’m all cried out, with nothing to say. You’re everything I wanted to be. If you could only see, your heart belongs to me. I love you so much, I’m yearning for your touch. Come and set me free, forever yours I’ll be, baby won’t you come and take this pain away.

I need you, and you need me. This is so plain to see, and I will never let you go and, I will always love you so. I will… If you could only see, your heart belongs to me. I love you so much, I’m yearning for your touch. Come and set me free, forever yours I’ll be, baby won’t you come and take this pain away.

Well just watch it and you’ll know what I mean. Here’s the video for the song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-k7p06rNpEg

And here’s a talented girl doing a acapella of the song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ax4U5XTFPE4

I don’t like getting sick often.
Back when I was still in school I’ve no problem with getting sick heck I even pretended to have a fever just so I won’t have to go to class but now it’s different. I realized that your health is definitely your insurance so better invest on it. I consider myself fit and healthy though there are just these instances that I’m plague with sickness and it’s unavoidable, I’m not superman after all. It’s been like two week already of being sick and it’s really evident – I’m thinner than before the bones in my wrist is now visible. The first week I got a fever probably because of the rainy nights we’ve been having. So I diligently took my medicine and after that I was cured or so I thought. It wasn’t long that I developed tonsillitis and that’s not all, soon enough little white spots begin to pop out all over my tongue. I was freaked out, I mean WTF man, what the hell is this!?  It was very annoying and painful especially when food touches my tongue it was like sipping boiling hot coffee – awww! It was so painful to even chew yet alone swallow food, needless to say my diet was affected. I find it hard to ingest chucky food so I was constantly eating arozcaldo and plenty of water and what not. I asked my ‘nurse’ sister what will happen if I continue with this kind of diet, she said I would be like Palito – thin with bones protruding and the way I see it now it’s not that far of an assumption. My sister even joked around and calls my attention if she’s eating scrumptious looking food – just my luck! A few days followed and it got worse the soreness of my whole mouth has reduced my communication skills to that of a mute person. Well at least mute people know sign language, me I struggle to communicate with pen and paper. It was serious and even though I’m very afraid going on checkups it needed to be done. So my uncle accompanied me to the hospital. It was nerve wrecking, I don’t know why I’m a bit nervous with I’m in hospitals and clinics with doctors and nurses around. It was also very nostalgic, I remembered the time I was confined for pneumonia wherein I was literally on the brink of death if I was even admitted to the hospital a day late. Those were fun times heheh. When we got there, we scanned through corridors for the doctor’s clinic only to find that we would have to wait till 3pm for his arrival. The wait wasn’t really that long and soon enough the doctor came and thankfully we were first on the list. He was not that old as I imagined, in fact he was still young in his late 30’s to 40. He commented if I was really 23 heheh I figured he was just making me feel at ease. As he began to diagnose my condition I can’t help but feel uncomfortable as I surveyed his hip yet sterile clinic - I can’t wait to get out of here. But a few minutes passed and I was asking questions (trying hard to talk) to the doc regarding my condition and what should be done to prevent this to even talks of surgically removing my tonsils… After the checkup we were handed a prescription and let me tell you the drugs are very expensive another reason why we should not get sick (Clusivol – “bawal magkasakit”).

Now that I’m recovering I felt a tad relief and hope I won’t have to go through that again.
So what’s next? Well I need to eat more! I made a promise to myself that as soon as I was feeling better I’ll go food tripp’n and maybe a movie too.

I hate being
drunk.

The light-headedness sensation, like the world is spinning - literally.
The momentarily urge to go to the johns or if it’s not a
convenient time, dark alleys would do just fine…
Or the certain mannerism people engaged to hint that he’s
drunk. Of course there are different sides of people and you’ll most probably
see it manifest when your jugging down beer or any liquors…
Going home with a new stale scent – too much beer de u
cologne…
The agony of a hangover the other day…
And not to mention throwing up…
But don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate drinking – I just hate
the post drama.

I love the taste of beer in my mouth and I’m saying that in a way
not to label myself as some kind of hard drinker for I only drink on occasions. Occasions
like parties, meet ups, or birthdays, just a night ago I received a call from a friend, seems that
they’re having a bit of a celebration at their house and invited me to come
over. After a rendezvous with another friend, we headed on a quick commute to
the said venue. Arriving there, it was
packed with people, relatives and friends all noisy chatting, singing with a ‘magic-sing’, eating and sometimes doing all those things at once. Our host
greeted us as he ushered for us to eat in their kitchen. Phillip is one of my friends
in college, noted MVP for great sportsmanship during our college intramurals
only to regret not being active in his former years, a silent type and a good
cook. In fact his mother told us that all the food we saw are of his recipe and
let me tell you that it’s was yummy! Odrale, the one I went with to get there
was also a friend back in college and quite the opposite of Phillip’s shyness –
loud and a bit of a prankster he had no qualms with people although he has
always been shy around sales people. Actually we were a pack of four me,
Phillip, Odrale, Innie who don’t have the luxury of joining us since she’d
migrated to manila so a sms message won’t hurt - she won’t be left out. We ate
and talk taking time to catch up with what’s going on with each or our
respective lives – agrrh I think I’m in a phrase in my life were I’m always
getting stuck a constant rot hehehe. The food was great there’s no denying that
it left us a tad sweaty afterwards, that and the weather nowadays so we opted
to go outside for air. Soon after a drinking session commenced I hesitated at
first but that cold beverage is just what I needed to start of another week of
just being me - living. Phillip’s barkadas and some random joes joined in as
they passed on a glass in turns one after the another. I noticed that I have a
separate glass at odds I say I’ll be the one to sleep at the table first,
what’s this some kind of a plot to get me drunk fast? It didn’t bother me though, as batches of
‘pulutan’ appears, Sisig with egg on a sizzling platter just like eating at a
fancy restaurant, hmm did I mention Phillip’s a good cook?! As it progressed
and after a few trips to the CR, we continued the random, funny and sometimes
senseless talk inside and decided to have some ‘videoke’ action. I contained
myself from taking the mic, heck I have no talent in that department, I just
sang along as others boisterously sang proud. We were tipsy by the last grande
and Odrale wants some coffee (although changed to hot chocolate instead) so we
set out to have one outside just a few blocks was MTS, a popular hangout with
their eclectic brands shops and bars. After that was as far as I could remember
hahaha riding a taxi I can only see blurs of light as it drove through the
empty streets. I was knock out cold when I got home, I changed into fresh clothes
and jumped to bed. I need not try to make myself sleepy by counting a herd of
sheep or thinking of some pressing issues, I was too sober that I presumably
snored through dreamland.

In the morning, I woke up to the sight of my sunlit room. My
eyes was squinting like being expose to glaring flashes illuminant photons but
it was just another new day. For a period of time I stared at the ceiling
mind’s a blank and then suddenly I felt a jolt on my stomach. I was about to
puke needless to say but I want to tell you the details hehehe. I got up still
tipsy and drowsy. My room was a mess (an ordered mess as I would like to call it) the shoes and clothes I wore that night laid on the
floor, I picked them and throw them in the hamper as I made my way to the
bathroom. I remember my first time it was back HS days I puked at the side of
the street and continued it at home hahaha memories from the past can sometimes
be funny. In that moment my stomach started to turn upside down burping to the
smell of beer I took off my clothes and sat on the bathroom floor. The coldness
of floor tiles sent shivers throughout my body. I turned the faucet as a steady
stream of water flowed. My mouth was numb as I salivate uncontrollably. I tried
to mimic what bulimic/ anorexic people are used to doing – forcing themselves
to throw up. I placed my hand inside my mouth and try to gag myself into
throwing up but I only recoiled with a cough and teary eyes. Moments later after
some focusing and what not, I began throwing up. My stomach was not accustomed to all the squeezing and purging process and yes puking does hurt. I loathe that feeling. I stared on
the floating mess below and entertained myself thinking this was what I had for
dinner, I saw bits and portions like a sample of everything I ate. There were
pineapple tidbits (since fibber rich foods takes long to digest and some can’t) from ‘afrida’, spaghetti noodles, ‘sisig’ bits and a chuck of meat from ‘patatim’ (what
did I do shove it me without chewing?!) and the murky reddish brown liquid
probably from the chocolate we had to conclude our night. It built up quite a
volume of water since larger pieces can’t go through them tiny drain holes. I
inhaled and then exhaled. Breathing deeply and steadily and felt relief. Gone
are the stomach grumblings. It’s a great feeling having that out of your system
like a streak of freshness that exudes throughout your body. However, I wasn’t
that fresh so I cleaned up and took a long shower. It’s amazing how fully
charged and new I felt after that, but all the voluntary/involuntary act of
throwing what I ate left me with a bit of a hunger and wondered what’s for lunch…
hope it’s any good.