pondering thoughts

I hate being
drunk.

The light-headedness sensation, like the world is spinning - literally.
The momentarily urge to go to the johns or if it’s not a
convenient time, dark alleys would do just fine…
Or the certain mannerism people engaged to hint that he’s
drunk. Of course there are different sides of people and you’ll most probably
see it manifest when your jugging down beer or any liquors…
Going home with a new stale scent – too much beer de u
cologne…
The agony of a hangover the other day…
And not to mention throwing up…
But don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate drinking – I just hate
the post drama.

I love the taste of beer in my mouth and I’m saying that in a way
not to label myself as some kind of hard drinker for I only drink on occasions. Occasions
like parties, meet ups, or birthdays, just a night ago I received a call from a friend, seems that
they’re having a bit of a celebration at their house and invited me to come
over. After a rendezvous with another friend, we headed on a quick commute to
the said venue. Arriving there, it was
packed with people, relatives and friends all noisy chatting, singing with a ‘magic-sing’, eating and sometimes doing all those things at once. Our host
greeted us as he ushered for us to eat in their kitchen. Phillip is one of my friends
in college, noted MVP for great sportsmanship during our college intramurals
only to regret not being active in his former years, a silent type and a good
cook. In fact his mother told us that all the food we saw are of his recipe and
let me tell you that it’s was yummy! Odrale, the one I went with to get there
was also a friend back in college and quite the opposite of Phillip’s shyness –
loud and a bit of a prankster he had no qualms with people although he has
always been shy around sales people. Actually we were a pack of four me,
Phillip, Odrale, Innie who don’t have the luxury of joining us since she’d
migrated to manila so a sms message won’t hurt - she won’t be left out. We ate
and talk taking time to catch up with what’s going on with each or our
respective lives – agrrh I think I’m in a phrase in my life were I’m always
getting stuck a constant rot hehehe. The food was great there’s no denying that
it left us a tad sweaty afterwards, that and the weather nowadays so we opted
to go outside for air. Soon after a drinking session commenced I hesitated at
first but that cold beverage is just what I needed to start of another week of
just being me - living. Phillip’s barkadas and some random joes joined in as
they passed on a glass in turns one after the another. I noticed that I have a
separate glass at odds I say I’ll be the one to sleep at the table first,
what’s this some kind of a plot to get me drunk fast? It didn’t bother me though, as batches of
‘pulutan’ appears, Sisig with egg on a sizzling platter just like eating at a
fancy restaurant, hmm did I mention Phillip’s a good cook?! As it progressed
and after a few trips to the CR, we continued the random, funny and sometimes
senseless talk inside and decided to have some ‘videoke’ action. I contained
myself from taking the mic, heck I have no talent in that department, I just
sang along as others boisterously sang proud. We were tipsy by the last grande
and Odrale wants some coffee (although changed to hot chocolate instead) so we
set out to have one outside just a few blocks was MTS, a popular hangout with
their eclectic brands shops and bars. After that was as far as I could remember
hahaha riding a taxi I can only see blurs of light as it drove through the
empty streets. I was knock out cold when I got home, I changed into fresh clothes
and jumped to bed. I need not try to make myself sleepy by counting a herd of
sheep or thinking of some pressing issues, I was too sober that I presumably
snored through dreamland.

In the morning, I woke up to the sight of my sunlit room. My
eyes was squinting like being expose to glaring flashes illuminant photons but
it was just another new day. For a period of time I stared at the ceiling
mind’s a blank and then suddenly I felt a jolt on my stomach. I was about to
puke needless to say but I want to tell you the details hehehe. I got up still
tipsy and drowsy. My room was a mess (an ordered mess as I would like to call it) the shoes and clothes I wore that night laid on the
floor, I picked them and throw them in the hamper as I made my way to the
bathroom. I remember my first time it was back HS days I puked at the side of
the street and continued it at home hahaha memories from the past can sometimes
be funny. In that moment my stomach started to turn upside down burping to the
smell of beer I took off my clothes and sat on the bathroom floor. The coldness
of floor tiles sent shivers throughout my body. I turned the faucet as a steady
stream of water flowed. My mouth was numb as I salivate uncontrollably. I tried
to mimic what bulimic/ anorexic people are used to doing – forcing themselves
to throw up. I placed my hand inside my mouth and try to gag myself into
throwing up but I only recoiled with a cough and teary eyes. Moments later after
some focusing and what not, I began throwing up. My stomach was not accustomed to all the squeezing and purging process and yes puking does hurt. I loathe that feeling. I stared on
the floating mess below and entertained myself thinking this was what I had for
dinner, I saw bits and portions like a sample of everything I ate. There were
pineapple tidbits (since fibber rich foods takes long to digest and some can’t) from ‘afrida’, spaghetti noodles, ‘sisig’ bits and a chuck of meat from ‘patatim’ (what
did I do shove it me without chewing?!) and the murky reddish brown liquid
probably from the chocolate we had to conclude our night. It built up quite a
volume of water since larger pieces can’t go through them tiny drain holes. I
inhaled and then exhaled. Breathing deeply and steadily and felt relief. Gone
are the stomach grumblings. It’s a great feeling having that out of your system
like a streak of freshness that exudes throughout your body. However, I wasn’t
that fresh so I cleaned up and took a long shower. It’s amazing how fully
charged and new I felt after that, but all the voluntary/involuntary act of
throwing what I ate left me with a bit of a hunger and wondered what’s for lunch…
hope it’s any good.

This is one of my cover design for my artbook… right now I’m happy with how it looks so this I think, is the closest to what the final cover will look… I’m having a tad of a problem with regards to the printing itself - still looking for a printing house which I can actually afford hahahaha sadly I’ve yet to find one - very frustrating! I’m looking into getting my book sponsored though but I don’t know how… Hope against all hope to get my book printed asap!

Sunday came to end the many fasting and penitence welcoming the return of Jesus… I assume many would go to the beach and soak on the sun and sand I, however, spent it lounging and sleeping besides I can only imagine how crowded it would be having a dip on the pool or at the beach… With my days spent just being cooped inside our house, it’s nice to get some fresh air once and awhile so by night time I hurried to go to BLUGRE at MTS to meet with my friend who’s eager to get his hands on God of War 2 (a ps2 game), the CD he brought weeks ago has bugs impeding the game experience as it were… Upon entering the café I swear the smell of coffee being brewed just made me smile ahhh I’m in coffee heaven and I’m having me some caffeine! My friend was already waiting quite awhile, I was never really good at being in time on meet-ups and gimmicks I mean come on I even got late almost often on my classes before…   I handed him the ps2 game and had some strawberry mocha larcepucinno to start our conversation. People were just a minimal by that time when I surveyed the room but what’s this? Children-gobbling-coffee? Hehehe fortunately not, they were with there moms and dads making these cute drawings of their renditions of an Easter egg. Apparently, Blugre was quick to make this nice idea on giving people paper and crayons to draw your own easter egg for a gift pack if you’re drawing were to catch eye. I quickly jump in on the idea and ask my friend to get some of the paper hehehe! Hours came and I was actually enjoying the doodling and making my own Black and White Easter Egg (I only use crayons when I was a baby hahaha joke!). Not to boast or something but there was a child who sat beside us and she was like already done like 3 or something and when she came and gets a closer look on what I was doing, her reaction just made my day! After staring at my drawing she just rolled up the ones she had hahahaha! I crushed the little child’s only pride and happiness haahaha I’m baaaaad! I almost didn’t get it done because the thought of me still indulging on my hobbies not to mention it was I think intended to be for kids is a bit embarrassing hehehehe! But as people started to crowd the café and as I look on both directions I see teens and adults alike both passing their time and making their own Easter egg so that gave me time to get it done and here it was moments before we left and gave it to one of the staff to be displayed atop the beams on the ceiling…

It was one hot day! Geez! summer’s really bringing the heat - I
swear you wouldn’t last 5 minutes in my room, it’s like being inside a sauna
minus the fancy spa treatments… Outside was even worst and unbearable, awhile back
around 2:30-ish I was walking in one of the streets of Davao and it was like hell well not that I’ve
been to hell or something… I was sweating much like a roasted pig (letchon) just
like of what my cousin had on her post-graduation ‘handa’ just yesterday… after some
errands done, I head back at home and took a quick bath again to cool down and
changed into some fresh clean clothing. I waited till a bit dark just to beat
the sun at its game then it was off to the movies… I wanted to watch ‘The
Fountain‘ but I was a bit ticked off because what’s this? I get to watch ‘Dreamgirls‘
too? Noooo! hehehe! Apparently they put 2 movies back to back probably were forced due to squatly
ticket sales… So I picked ‘The Number 23‘ or just ‘23‘ I must say it has some nice ring to
it and sounds intriguing and it also stars Jim Carrey, the funny man doing yet
another serious role - now this has got to be interesting… The movie revolves
around Walter Sparrow’s fate on discovering a mysterious self published book entitled, ‘The
Number 23‘ and authored by a dodgy ‘Topsy Krett’  (sounds like TOP SECRET to me hehehe!), which
holds the key to his gruesome dark past, with his family by his side, he unravels
the secret of the enigma that is 23…

So what’s the deal with it? It’s really fascinating actually,
The "23 Enigma" is the Discordian belief that all events are
connected to the number 23, given enough ingenuity on the part of the
interpreter. The reviews on the movie was a bit bad most critics cited the lack
of cohesion and sense but I never really took their words because for all I
know they are paid to do just that… I in fact liked it… the scenes are very
stylish and story was good and creatively told which will help keep audience at
bay but could have been better… What draws people to this is the main integral idea
of the movie which has something to do with that freaking number of course and how strange occurrences
are paired to it… again if this was explored a little bit more in the movie, it would have been cool especially with the relevance of the number that seems to be connected somehow to the murders / suicides… Soon you’ll be lost in the arithmetic side of things and
begin adding your whatever until it hoping to ends up to 23 which more ore less why I
hate math hahhaha so okay let’s give this a try:

Coincidence? Amazing right? Well it’s not that real big of a deal in fact
it was obvious heheheh! You see the thing with people who is obsessed with the
numerology of 23 is that soon enough paranoia takes over… always finding ways for things to add up to it… soon, it’s as if that number is everywhere, hunting
and consuming his life. Want a few scary tidbits? Here’s a few:  split 23 up to 2 divided by 3 equals 666 the
number of the devil… December 23, 2012 - The date the number-obsessed Mayans
believed the world will end… Knights Templar - October 13 (10+13 = 23) is the
month and day that the Knight Templars were arrested in France and killed… hence Friday
the 13th being considered a day of bad luck.

Here are some remarkable stuff about the number 23:
http://afgen.com/number23.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/23_(numerology)

Hmmm do yourself a favor count all the 23’s here… hehehehe!

    Whenever I go out of the house for some R&R or maybe to do some errands, I secretly hope for something good and exciting to happen. I got this rather peculiar habit of letting my imagination loose… At times it fancies me as it makes long commutes and endless walks entertaining and worthwhile. Even a friend of mine thinks I’m mad and have a morbid mind as she asked me what I was thinking after pausing and staring down from the 3rd floor of a building. Interrupted from my daze, I replied, "nothing, I was just thinking of jumping and vaulting up in the air as I shimmy my way down by grabbing the poles sticking below". Hehehe looks like someone’s been playing video games for quite so long. But I don’t blame her for perceiving me that way, I mean yes I do admit I’m a bit loony at times but I guess that’s just how I am - there’s no changing that. I’m also a keen observer of things, hehehe some might label it as "himantayon" or someone who constantly take notice of things around himself but can I be blamed for having eyes that stares and catches people doing some silly mannerisms? Though yes they say it’s impolite to stare at people but lately it has been a good pastime of mine hehe as sick as it maybe, I do have fun just doing that - remember Jack ‘n Jill’s Piatos ad? hehehe something like that. Some fun impulse huh? I guess so or maybe it has some deeper reasons why certain people do this sort of stuff, guess I should visit my psychology teacher for a chat… I bet he’d asked me how am I and make accurate assumptions like I’m a bit anti-social hehehe does it really shows? Yes I hardly go out only except if I feel like it or forced to do so, always at my room tinkering with my pc even my skin is paler than before and it always catches my friends’ attention like one of those silly Likas Papaya lines "pumuputi ka ata ha" hehehehe but no seriously I don’t use that soap or any whitening stuff for any matter.

    You see often in my solitude, love-less and boring life, it’s funny that I find myself observing other people as they go through their busy lives as if my I have few things to worry about myself already. But as my eyes wander about to a sea of strangers, there’s always a face that stands out from the crowd. What’s even weird is suddenly I begin to wonder who this person is, personality, moods, what that one does for a living - all those kinds of things. And if it were possible, if we knew each other and be friends with or even get really involved, would our lives be any happier?

    Ridiculous thoughts indeed, like just this day, I rode a jeepney to go to a mall here, then suddenly I saw, our eyes met and naturally I looked away but always never failed to steal glances hoping not to be caught - like the sms someone forwarded me saying that my only consolation whenever a person caught me looking, is that I must keep in mind that I was not the only one looking but that person too. Anyway, as I handed my fare to the driver and dropped at my destination, in my mind I did hope for fate to intervene and possibly another encounter. There were not so many people inside the mall but I hurried just the same to watch 300 which I was anticipating for months. I brought a ticket, ‘take-out’ some finger lick’in chicken fillets, fries and soda then headed inside the dark theater. The movie was a blast! Bloody, dark and morbid - I haven’t got a chance to take hold of any Frank Miller graphic novels but I’m sure this adaptation delivered, I mean it really is a great movie. As the ending credits rolled, I waited awhile for a number of people to disperse and then exited. The mall was silent apart from moviegoers eager to go home, most of the lights were turned off as a few service crew tidy up for the night. I took my time heading out, fidgeting with my zen scrolling my playlist looking for a fitting commute song then suddenly while going down an escalator I caught a glimpse of a familiar face once again with our eyes intertwined. For a moment I couldn’t remember who but it was soon clear that it was the same person I shared a jeepney ride earlier and what’s this? with someone else?! argghhh. They were the first to rode a taxi as I walked beside it, I saw that person staring at me as if saying ‘I know you’ or maybe ‘who are you?’ Their taxi drove off as I settled for the next one on queue. In my mind I wished I was with that person and getting to know each other. As I gave my directions to the driver and rushed through the empty streets, I swear I was hoping to catch up to their taxi cab but nope - all green lights here considering that it’s already late.

    Tonight was really a good night, my eyes and mind were satisfied and consumed by a great movie and yes, tonight fate intervened for another encounter with a total stranger who I wished to know more - ’till the next time we meet.

I regret to inform you all that my Artbook will be on sale on a later date. Aptly entitled "INSPIRATIONS," it contains a stunning 101 pixelious artworks meticulously created in details as it presents the viewers image after image of what keeps me inspired – be it through the simpliest of things to something grand. It should have been available this month of March but due to the hefty cost of printing I decided to delay the production of the book just so I can save up for it. Having copies of the book printed here would benefit interested buyers in the Philippines though I didn’t realized how expensive printing a book is, regardless, my Artbook will be available this 2007. If things won’t go as planned then my Artbook will just be released to LULU.COM for printing. Buyers are then subject to LULU.COM’s shipping rates but it’s all good for they offer rather flexible rates at which one can choose upon buying my book.

For those who are in the Philippines and reserved a copy earlier, I’m terribly sorry about the setback and I do hope you’ll understand and still consider and support my future endeavors. Thank you.

Pahabol: on the same note, I’ve also decided to lower the price from $30, now it will be sold for $25 or just about Php 1200. ‘Till then!

I’ve been on hiatus from my freelance gigs since December 2006 and hard at work for a book I’m making… It’s a 6"x9" soft-bound book which features both new artworks and some selected old classic pieces which I carefully and diligently put up and will be printed in high quality standards… I’m planning to upload it to LULU.com for them to print and sell them to interested buyers internationally, it’s a great site since I’m doing this for the first time and is so pressed for funds hehehe and what’s good is that shipping fees are flexible and cheaper since LULU.com is US based…

For buyers in the Philippines though, I’ll be canvasing for a printing house which will be printing the first 100 copies for the book and I’ll be putting a site to which you can buy it from…

I intend to have it printed by last week February 2007 so it will be available on MARCH 2007. I’ll be selling it for only $30.00 / Php 1,500.00 - that’s a fraction of a cost for something substantial and inspiring.

Anyway, I’ll update you all when something comes up…

I hope you’ll support me and buy a copy when it comes out…

hmmm, can I be so bold to ask for sure buyers? hehehe

2007’s going to be a great year! I can feel it! Okay so I may have been slacking and not as productive as I hoped I would be but I got this insane goals in mind that I want it to be realized. I’m making a little project - a book that is… 100+ pages of my artworks… of things that inspires me everyday… and I have to finish it by the first quarter of 2007, so many things to do out of my 250+ target artworks, up until now I only done 58 of them with this  Angelina Jolie as the most recent… hahaha so if you’re a bit interested on this, save Php 1,500.00 for it heheheh and it’ll be available on April 2007… hahaha talk about shameless plugs…I’m also pursuing a fulltime job as a freelance graphic artist at the moment and I know it’s really hard and not as stable but I got to try… yep it wouldn’t hurt if you could refer me a gig if you know what I mean anyway, hope you all are getting into your new year’s resolutions…

you can check my Angelina artwork at: http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/46874076/

Today I woke up with a mission… I was so tired feeling sorry about
myself from what I have experienced here at Manila. Curious? just
ask me what happened… Anyway, drumroll please! This morning
it hit me, why didn’t I thought of making a cd portfolio that will
showcase my works!? Besides this is a big plus when I’m job hunting,
who knows this would certainly be one of my edge in crowd of would-
be graphic artists… Now, I just have to gather all my works and
probably make new ones too to be added to my collection. Arghhh I’m
so pressed for time - I need to finish this as soon as possible. Oh
yeah since I’m running low on cash at the moment hehehe each one
costs me: Php 30 for printing (photopaper) + Php 15 for cd with case.

Edit:
Just this very moment, my mom called. Didn’t want to say something
that would make her worry so I lie a bit of my situation hehehehe! I told
her about my plans on not attending the short term course I enrolled at
firstacademy.net although I really wanted it I have to make a decision
which I think is best… Eventhough she insisted on me taking it I just
said I’ll find another school that offers the same course in a much shorter
period of time… I know my two sisters are currently reviewing for nursing
exams and stuff, I don’t want to add anymore burden financially. Better
them finishing first, I can wait some other time…

Huh! Stop Raining on ME!

MY ULTIMATE DREAM GIRL! heheheheh NICOLE HERNANDEZ famous
for tv ads and product endorser of PONDS for example… and recently
topped UNO MAGAZINE’s TOP 100 SEXIEST/MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN
on the planet! Certified Crush ng Bayan! Wish I could meet her one day!